I took the day off today to celebrate the first day of summer with my three musketeer grandkids – Ben, Emma & Camden.  It was a stellar day, a classic summer morning, bright, sunny and heating up fast.

On several occasions in the past, I’ve posed a riddle for our upcoming adventure. You guys try to guess what we’ll be doing, before we do it. Today’s riddle was:

something yummy

something funny

something old

something high

something cold

After picking you up in the “Youk,” we made our way to Portsmouth for breakfast at The Friendly Toast.  This was the first time I had taken you there – and actually it was my first time too.  The “Toast” is not only friendly, it’s an eclectic place to hang out with all kinds of interesting things to see around the restaurant.  We had fun playing I Spy while waiting for breakfast to arrive.

Ben, you ordered chocolate chip pancakes, and so did Camden.  They literally filled up your entire plate!  Emma, you were in the mood for french toast, which was delicious (I stole a bite).  I had scrambled eggs with veggies and a huge slice of toast which was, indeed, very friendly.

something yummy

With full bellies, we made our way to Macro Polo on Market Street.  It’s a very unusual store with lots of funny things.

When we walked in you immediately spotted a toiler filled with fake poo!  This was a huge sensation, and I ended up buying some fake dog poo and fake mustaches among other crazy items. You guys laughed as you looked around the store.

something funny

We piled into the Youk and made our way to Newcastle, the little historic town that is next to my favorite place in the world, Portsmouth.  You didn’t know what I was up to and kept asking me “Where are we going?”  You wanted to know!

Soon we pulled up to Fort Constitution, parked the car and Emma insisted everyone wear their mustaches.

We all felt the intense heat as we walked the line along the Coast Guard facility toward the old Fort which was the site of the first attack of the Revolutionary War – even earlier than the battle of Lexington in Massachusetts.

You had a blast running around the fort, exploring the hidden spaces, climbing the hills and peeking through the granite stone windows toward the Piscataqua River.  We took a break on the rocks and drank our Gatorade and had a snack.

something old

As we left the Fort I asked if you wanted to stay in Portsmouth or head to Moody Beach. It was unanimous – we would head to the beach house.  As I drove North, we crossed one of the highest points in New Hampshire and looked down onto the city of Porstmouth from far above the Piscataqua Bridge.

something high

We took Route 95 all the way, hoping to get there as soon as possible. Everyone wanted to go in the water and cool down. You kept asking “When are we going to be there?”

Once we got to the Wells exit, it was another 15 minutes or so to Moody Beach which is part of Wells but is actually on Ogunquit Beach, one of the most beautiful beaches in America.  Molly and Ainsley met us there, as did Grammy and your Moms.

We had fun boogie boarding in the Atlantic:

something cold

What a great day! I wonder what we’ll do on our next Three Musketeers adventure?

I bought some fake poo from Macro Polo, figuring this might be a perfect joke to play on   you and your siblings.  This kind of subject matter is right up your alley these days.

Poo is King Caca at the Clickman’s.

I went to your house and when you weren’t looking, I positioned the poo next to Apple in the family room.   Everyone else was in the room except for your Dad who was working.  I backed away, waiting for a reaction.

But no one shouted out, no one said “OOOH, look what Apple did!” Or “YEEWW!” Or anything at all.

Instead there was a very low key, quiet nervous laughter emanating from you and Ben, as if to say, “I CANNOT believe this is happening. Mom isn’t going to like this.”

So to get things moving I blurted out:

Oh man, Apple’s going to be in trouble now.

More looks, more nervousness.

Then I walked over to the poo and knelt down beside it.  You were watching carefully. I proceeded to bend my head to the floor and sniff the poo.  You guys could NOT believe I was actually doing this.  Then I picked it up.

“Papa!”

And then… the piece de resistance: I put it to my lips.

You guys were absolutely flabbergasted and speechless.

I laughed and then I disclosed it was all a ruse, a fake, a crass, tasteless joke.

Finally, understanding.  Finally, relaxation. Finally, acceptance.  Finally,  laughter.

And then… R-E-L-I-E-F.

Total acceptance of the prank and an instant desire to play the same trick on your Dad when he got home.

That’s when we noticed Apple.  She had been sincerely interested in the fake poo during my entire performance, sitting right beside it as if to say “They’re not going to blame this one on me!”

Apple’s curiousity soon became action… she took matters into her own hands grabbed it, put it in her mouth and ran into the living room.  We followed, but in a flash the poo had turned to dust!  Apple had eaten it!

Ever the steady hand, your Mom said, “Well my last dog actually ate its own poo, so I guess Apple is one step above her.”  Good point, and she’s right.  Apple would be pooping out fake poo. How ironic.

You guys were disappointed because the prank for your Dad was now compromised.

But expecting the worse, I had bought an extra, and went out to the car to get it.  Relief set in.

Now you could orchestrate your own poo prank. The joke would live on for another telling.