I bought some fake poo from Macro Polo, figuring this might be a perfect joke to play on   you and your siblings.  This kind of subject matter is right up your alley these days.

Poo is King Caca at the Clickman’s.

I went to your house and when you weren’t looking, I positioned the poo next to Apple in the family room.   Everyone else was in the room except for your Dad who was working.  I backed away, waiting for a reaction.

But no one shouted out, no one said “OOOH, look what Apple did!” Or “YEEWW!” Or anything at all.

Instead there was a very low key, quiet nervous laughter emanating from you and Ben, as if to say, “I CANNOT believe this is happening. Mom isn’t going to like this.”

So to get things moving I blurted out:

Oh man, Apple’s going to be in trouble now.

More looks, more nervousness.

Then I walked over to the poo and knelt down beside it.  You were watching carefully. I proceeded to bend my head to the floor and sniff the poo.  You guys could NOT believe I was actually doing this.  Then I picked it up.

“Papa!”

And then… the piece de resistance: I put it to my lips.

You guys were absolutely flabbergasted and speechless.

I laughed and then I disclosed it was all a ruse, a fake, a crass, tasteless joke.

Finally, understanding.  Finally, relaxation. Finally, acceptance.  Finally,  laughter.

And then… R-E-L-I-E-F.

Total acceptance of the prank and an instant desire to play the same trick on your Dad when he got home.

That’s when we noticed Apple.  She had been sincerely interested in the fake poo during my entire performance, sitting right beside it as if to say “They’re not going to blame this one on me!”

Apple’s curiousity soon became action… she took matters into her own hands grabbed it, put it in her mouth and ran into the living room.  We followed, but in a flash the poo had turned to dust!  Apple had eaten it!

Ever the steady hand, your Mom said, “Well my last dog actually ate its own poo, so I guess Apple is one step above her.”  Good point, and she’s right.  Apple would be pooping out fake poo. How ironic.

You guys were disappointed because the prank for your Dad was now compromised.

But expecting the worse, I had bought an extra, and went out to the car to get it.  Relief set in.

Now you could orchestrate your own poo prank. The joke would live on for another telling.